Has anyone ever been in a reading slump that they desperately wish to escape? My go to in such situations are always old books, usually romance and sometimes my old friends, Harry Potter and Percy Jackson. But there is one book I turn to in almost every sad slump, when no one is releasing anything good and you end up stuck with trashy dark toxic romances which by the second book always seem to delve into disturbing erotica, is Pride and Prejudice.

I read this book when I was just eleven and was instantly smitten. It’s Jane Austen’s best, I feel, and I’ve read all her works except Mansfield Park. The romance is subtle but it lies steadfast through the entire story, woven through the language, like little flowers to pick up on the way to the end until you carry an entire bouquet of small flowers by the time you flip over the last page.

But now when I’m 17 I look at the story and I find that there are so many small nothings that make it so appealing to me, especially when it’s what I have to compare it to the romance in my reality. Pride and Prejudice is a regency romance, aside from the genre label of ‘classics’, that’s the genre it falls under. The world has changed since then and so has the culture. But one thing I’ve realized, remains the same, the desire for a Mr. Darcy.

Today there are many women who wear an Elizabeth Bennet persona on their sleeves. The sarcastic and witty young woman who places her mind and heart above the silly gossip of society and the nonsensical ticks of her mother. I relate to Eliza Bennet on a personal level, I am her. And that’s not just me being arrogant, I have the results of a Buzzfeed Quiz as proof. But for the most part everyone wants to be an Elizabeth Bennet. But why do we as women fawn over Fitzwilliam Darcy. It’s completely unalike Elizabeth Bennet behaviour and falls more akin to Lydia.

But I think today, where we sort of have to settle for men who are more interested in sex rather than the romance that precedes it and the culture of one-night stands, we desire more. Women don’t want the toxic over-dominating male who wants to spank them if they don’t call them sir or daddy or whatever other words have been messed up for us in the English lexicon, (I’M LOOKING AT YOU FIFTY SHADES OF GREY) (I must be honest – I haven’t read Fifty Shades of Grey so the chances of me being wrong are high, but I have read wikipedia and I do have friends so I doubt it). Women appreciate a relationship of equals, and that is the beauty of Pride and Prejudice.

Darcy is the ideal male. He’s socially awkward. I think it’s so refreshing to have a male man who probably bathes in money and is of proper breeding (basically has manners) who isn’t the suave guy in the bar who smirks at the girls blushing and stuttering. HE is the stuttering fool, trying to make sense of this strong, opinionated woman who he insulted five minutes ago without knowing. He beats that trope where all men in romance novels are like sexual Gods who need to teach the young virgin the pleasures of her body… like are you for real? That stuff is mythological. Men can be as shy and awkward as women.

But above his personality, it’s the fact that he changes. Look, everyone has their flaws, I mean I’m sarcastic enough to curdle fresh milk and I’m okay with it. Darcy is arrogant and insulting and doesn’t even realize when he’s being so. And so when Elizabeth rejects him that first time he proposes it’s no surprise. I would have done the same. He basically told her she wasn’t pretty enough for a man of his caliber and then went on to say she was the only bearable member of a family that was society’s entertainment and source of gossip (I mean I don’t blame him, Lydia is horrific). And time and time again in fighting his attraction, he puts her down quite rudely, insults her and is just awful.

But after her rejection, Darcy sort of ups his game. When he comes back onto the playing field for Eliza’s hand you can tell the man has done some serious introspection. He’s made a genuine effort to change not his personality but his behaviourisms that came across to Eliza as obnoxious and arrogant and elitist. He remains the man who doesn’t like to dance and thinks that poetry feeds love and he never once changes the standard of a fine woman, he just includes Elizabeth to be a part of that standard. What he does change is the way he talks to Eliza, and her family as evidenced by the Gardeners. He makes that effort. He introspects. That is the charm of Mr. Darcy.

In times like today we are surrounded by Mr. Wickham’s and Mr. Collins’s and I daresay (for after all, I am a feminist) many obnoxious beings like Lydia. But this romance between Eliza and Mr. Darcy remains evergreen, for it is wrought with the hope that we are the ideals for men like Darcy. We need only wait. But being the cynic I am, I suppose we are all Ms. Lucas’s bound to be stuck with obnoxious men like Mr. Collins. Alas! What a tragedy!