So after A Sky Beyond The Storm I’ve been a bit depressed. My most anticipated read of the year didn’t pan out and Goodreads told me my average book ratings this year were around a 3.6. So it’s basically been an average reading year. At any rate my go to in these sort of depressed book slumps is happy, sappy comedy filled romances. And so browsing on Goodreads I found ‘It Only Happens in the Movies’ by Holly Bourne.

Look, I don’t believe in love. I think it’s psychologically unrealistic for people to be mated to each other and married to each other for life. But I love romance books. It’s the affectionate and humorous banter that I appreciate, the small nothings that create infatuation and the comedy. The books alway end once the protagonists have confessed their love for each other, which is fine with me because that’s typically when things will start to go sour and people will be comfortable enough to be gross and disgusting around their partners. I’m okay not seeing Katherine and Joe Fox dig their noses and fart around the house wearing no pants after that beautiful Somewhere Over the Rainbow scene (ever Nora Ephron wouldn’t be able to save that). But I enjoy the romance in romance books, contradictory and confusing though it may sound.

But at any rate, I started this book, hoping for some comedy and some romance and some new cool first date scenes and the excitement of first kisses and clichéd protagonists. And it didn’t disappoint. It had the troubled young woman, Audrey, who once wanted to be an actress and no longer believes in love and has given up on her dreams because of her horrible ex. She has family problems and girl problems. She’s every other girl in every other book. And then she meets Harry, the player who she promises herself she won’t fall in love with. They work on a zombie movie together, Audrey tries to patch up her own broken family.

Till around 50% I was bored. It was moving too slowly for me personally as Holly Bourne built up Audrey’s character. And then I realized that what I was reading was a masterpiece. Sure it might have failed me as a toe-curling romance with the smile that stretches across my face when I envision two people be happy. But it was real. It was two people, being awkward and misunderstood and facing real problems. So I’ll address the two main ones that really made me give this book 4 stars as compared to the two stars I was feeling at around 42% of the book.

Sex. Audrey is a young woman (aged around 18/19) who recently lost her virginity to her boyfriend Milo, who dumped her when the sex was mindblowingly bad and painful for Audrey and she cried because of the amount of pain she was in. I found this so important, to display Audrey’s inhibitions about sex especially after it was so painful for her and then how traumatic it must have been to be dumped over something she couldn’t control. It’s 2020, romance books which are no longer PG13 are so unrealistic about women and sex. I haven’t read erotica (I have not read 50 Shades of Grey especially since I hated Twilight and it was Twilight fanfiction but also because I didn’t want to lose brain cells by the bad writing my best friend informed me about) but I did do some research after finishing this book and it is so misleading how sex is portrayed for women who are virgins. It’s this rough sort of moment and the girls feel ‘a pinch’ before they moan and then proceed to have some supposedly amazing sex which makes them orgasm multiple times. Like okay I’m sure there are a few people like that, who do have that experience, who am I to talk for the whole female population. But that’s not how it happens for most people. This book proves that, with not one female character who goes through a painful time losing her virginity, but another one who realizes that doing the things that erotica books and romance books prescribe on your first try, when everything you are experiencing is a foreign experiment, is going to be a painful bitch. I loved how awkward sex was portrayed as for Audrey because that is what is real. And it is very much appreciated. She finds out she can’t orgasm through normal sex and then proceeds to try and tell her partner because she feels embarrassed, that is so common for women to be nervous as they start exploring their sexuality, to be conscious and mortified about how the human body works with sex. Just the way all sexual topics were attacked were so well done, it finally felt like a healthy relationship with sex for her.

And now for rant #2 – the ending. I’m a sucker for a happy ending. I want them to drive off in the sunset and have a huge wedding (I KNOW I’M A WALKING TALKING OXYMORON) and have a life together as long as I don’t have to read anything after that point, I love those endings. Anyone opposed to spoilers, this review is over for you. Audrey and Harry do not end up together. They admit they love each other but Audrey breaks it off regardless, because she can’t stay with someone who cheated on her. Usually at this point I’d throw my hands up, turn to my sister and say ‘what a waste of time’. But it’s so so well written by Holly. It’s so realistic and I reflect on myself and what I would do if I loved someone who cheated on me. I would in no circumstances stay, no matter what the reason or excuse. So why was I expecting the character to do what I wouldn’t. It felt so empowering to read this book because Audrey feels weak in the knees with how much she loves this boy but she chooses herself. She realises that nothing Harry does will ever erase this in her mind and even though there is a grand romantic gesture she kisses him and tells him kindly that it’s not going to happen. And I was so happy for her doing that. For choosing herself rather than succumbing to emotions that would probably turn stale with distrust at some point.

Love isn’t just a feeling. love is a choice too. and you may not be able to help your feelings, but you are responsible for the choice you make about what to do with them…

~~ Holly Bourne

I watch a ton of Hindi Serials (it’s a guilty pleasure) and the story is always the same. The boy and girl hate each other the boy betrays the girl big time and then they get back together when he realises he can’t live without her. And all I can think about while I watch and heckle is “Why the hell does she take him back?” And this book gave me that answer and it was so very satisfying.

Would I read this when I want a pure romance story. Probably not. It’s a bit too real to read as a romance. But if I ever get dumped, need out of a toxic relationship or want to feel empowered despite the weakness of my feelings, this is where I will turn.

Four stars given for a marvellous, marvellous read.