I am not a mystery reader. The genre is, in general, unappealing to me. There are three reasons for this. The first, that many crime stories once finished, leave me with a sense of unease and paranoia. Every creak outside at night becomes a murderer scaling my trellis. Secondly, I don’t do well with suspense. I need to know who the killer is at the beginning and then enjoy the details coming together after that. I’m that person who reads the plot for every movie before I actually watch it. And finally, an old wound festers from when I attended Sanawar School’s Mystery Lit Fest and read nothing but Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie and managed to nab every prize except for first. But this is Anuja Chauhan. And an ARC no less! I’ll be honest, she could write a note to her local doodhwaala and I’d pay good money to read it. So I did. And I absolutely adored it. This review will be spoiler-free till 5th March when I plan on updating my thoughts more fully.

‘Club You To Death’ is set in a very posh old club based in Delhi from the Brit days in India and follows handsome Akash Dogra, hip and happening lawyer, socialite Bambi Todi and surprisingly an ACP Bhavani Singh from Dilli’s own police force as they try to solve the case of a murdered gym instructor using a mysterious drug on club premises. Old rivalries within Delhi’s elite come to the forefront of the investigation, an investigation filled with sexy, threatening songs and lots of chaos.

Whenever I read Agatha Christie I’d usually guess the murderer (and end up with the correct answer). I was sure by the halfway mark I’d know who it was. I had promised myself that this was a book I wouldn’t ruin for myself. And so when I reached the fifty per cent mark I was ashamed to admit that I had no idea who the killer was. At any rate, I threw a wild guess to the wind and stuck with it till the end and realised not only was I wrong but I was so wrong I hadn’t even pieced together the details of what happened. The entire plot had me engrossed from 6 pm when I started reading to 1 am, lurching up from my bed towards the tail end to try and grasp the enormity of the plot that had been spun. The thought process behind the entire crime that the book surrounds is magnificent. Complex and brilliant. It’s a testament to Anuja Chauhan’s range that she can write every single genre. Romance, politics, historical fiction, legal dispute and now crime fiction. And she writes it so well.

I’d say that while the romance aspect is a bit light in this book as compared to her others, the book is still enjoyable because of how amazing the mystery is. Kashi and Bambi play a far smaller role than the real hero, ACP Bhavani, who takes over the entire novel with his quiet interrogations and clever way of niggling information out of everyone involved to get to the bottom of the grisly murder. He’s a brilliant character and I really liked reading him as the protagonist. I was a bit apprehensive about reading about a police officer but Anuja Chauhan continues to use her blend of humour and blatant forwardness to bring forth the reality that haunts India’s every corner without taking away from the plot. But you can tell that her writing portrays a genuine picture of how the country fares today, it’s being political using fiction and humour and it’s done well. That’s something I love about her books, she makes a statement, it’s always subtle, barely noticeable and yet if you pick up on it, you’ll realize how genuine and real and funny her writing is. The book itself is hilarious. With her traditional blend of Hindi gaalis that are peppered through the book and hiding jokes within the sarcasm of her characters, the novel had me laughing out loud a number of times. The characters themselves were an accurate representations of Delhi’s social elites who hang out in their old high school groups and women in their fifties who make money off their friends using strange business ventures. Club Tambola and Zumba class in fancy tights and hiding away children who are less than satisfactory because log kya kehenge. Backstabbing and the occasional throw out of ‘Do you know who my father is?’ by characters who are Bollywood’s Draco Malfoy. And the realism perhaps makes it funnier. Parts of the mystery were chilling, but not so horrifying that I felt uneasy by the time I was done.

‘mukki’s voice rises to a thin nasal scream “you will sue me? you will sue me? you will sue me?”

“it’s not a talaaq you know” kashi drawls, turning to face him. “you don’t have to repeat it three tim-“‘

~ Anuja Chauhan

I can’t really give away too much, lest I spoil the plot for anyone reading, but all I’ll say is that while I may never read another mystery book again, I wouldn’t mind revisiting ‘Club You To Death’ because it was in all senses of the genre, a perfect whodunnit.